Hi, This is Coach Joe Lukacs and welcome to this episode of the Magellan Network Show. I’m going to share with you today four keywords or phrases that cause advisors millions of dollars in their career.
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With that being said, let’s talk about words and languaging and why it’s so important that we get our arms around this. Not just as advisors, but as human beings also.
Our internal dialogue, or self-talk, has a lot of impact and influence on our behaviors. As an advisor, the challenge here is that we are really not aware of this. The reason why I say that is when I’m doing an introductory call with a potential client, or in the evaluation process, I listen intently to how they’re communicating.
What words or phraseology they’re using. If they communicate to me that way then that means that’s how they communicate with themselves.
I hear things like. ‘Well Joe, I’d really like to make more money…’, or ‘I’d really like to get more organized…’, or ‘I’d really like to get it to the next level.
The phrase ‘Like to’ does not commit to anything. We have to realize that in our society today, remember. Our subconscious is a thousand times more powerful than our conscious.
What happens is that with all these inputs, your subconscious filters them. What it looks for are things that you deem important. If you’re phrasing things as ‘I’d like to lose weight or I’d like to go to the gym more often, your brain goes, ‘That’s not important! That’s not a commitment. That’s not a must!’.
So, we back burner it. Like to’s never happen. For some of you, when you do your goals, business planning or just framing what you want to do, it doesn’t happen.
In essence, you’re not committing to it internally. The next term is ‘TRY’. I’m going to TRY to lose weight. I’m going to TRY to ask for more referrals, I’m going to TRY to get up earlier. Try, try, try.
Remember what Yoda says? ‘Do or do not. there is no try’. It’s funny in one regard but it’s also true. It’s because you must use the language of commitment. It’s a four-letter word that can make you millions of dollars a year in your business, career life or just give you so much more power.
That’s the word MUST. If you start phrasing things like, ‘I must get up by 5:30, or I must get to the gym every day, I must ask for one referral a day. Your brain goes, ‘Oh! Priority!’. And subconsciously you’re more cognizant and aware of it.
Try’s and like to’s, we must eliminate it. There’s probably another one which is ‘Should’ so maybe there’s five. Again, the same problem.
Your brain will say it’s not a priority but an option. Remember that the brain looks for things that have to happen and the things that are optional or unimportant. We always have to be in the ‘have to happen’ box with our business.
If you’re thinking, talking or writing down things that way and you’re wondering why you’re not moving your needle, it’s because you’re using the wrong gasoline in your tank. Then you wonder why your car doesn’t go?
I just want you to be very cognizant with that. I “kick” my clients all the time. Hey, what’s going on today? Tell me about your last couple of weeks and they start to answer, ‘Well, I try…’ I tell them to talk to me right.
I know some of you are doing the audio and that’s cool but, I ask all my clients to do a two-page quarterly game plan. What we do is when I review it with my personal client, I’m looking at the language.
Do we have the language of commitment or complacency? Those are two different things. Look for those three elements.
Then we look into the other two. ‘More’ and ‘Better.’ What’s the problem with those? Well, they’re not discernable, measurable or clear. Let me give you a scenario.
I ask an advisor to give me some of their goals and I get, “Well, I’d like to get more money”. That would never happen. With ‘Like to’ and ‘more’ in the same sentence, you might as well not have said anything.
Until you’ve heard me firmly speak today about this, you’ve been thinking subconsciously, ‘I’d never thought of that’. I want you all to just be aware of your ‘internal dialogue’ or your ‘ID’. It’s a part of your operating system.
For some of you, it’s a major part. It’s so powerful and like what I’ve always said, we’re in the personal development, mindset business. The difference between somebody that does ten million dollars of revenue and a hundred thousand dollars of revenue is their mindset and not their education.
If you’re not aware of it, then how can you change it? A human being can not take action if they are not clear of the objective. So here’s how your brain works and I’d like you to listen up. If you say, ” I want to get more referrals’.
Your brain goes, ‘Okay’. But it can’t formulate how to get that done because there’s no specific target. In essence, you’re confusing yourself.
Just like what we talked about prospects, a confused prospect can neither say “Yes” or buy, a confused adviser cannot take action. What happens is that you can’t pull it off because your brain doesn’t have all the elements of the formula.
If you say, ‘I want to drive four referrals a month’ or one a week’. No longer the word ‘more’. Your brain goes, ‘Okay, how will you pull that off? Maybe once or twice a day’. Right?
Now I’ve got a formula which I could take action on because it’s tangible versus ‘more’ wherein I can’t equate that. The same thing with ‘better’. It’s the same scenario.
How do we quantify ‘better’? Is it 100th or 1 Millionth of 1%? I want to have a better bank account. So here’s a dollar. Go get them. I mean what are we looking to do here? How specifically better do you mean?
The word ‘specifically’ i’s powerful because it forces you to get all this stuff and get it down to tangible scenarios. I want you to say, ‘I want to drive, one referral a week’. What must I do specifically? I must ask for referrals. How many times specifically is the standard?
Now you’re working it at a much higher level to formulate a game plan. That’s where a lot of you is interesting in my career.
I’ve seen a lot of bright people who are good at what they do and care deeply about their clients. They’re ethical and honest but they’re frustrated because they fell into that hole and cannot get out.
Most of the time, it’s because of the language holding them down. If you’re not aware of it, and this is where the frustration comes, you won’t know what to fix because you don’t know what to look for.
It’s like putting your hands up because you can’t figure out why your car won’t run. From there, you have to bring it to a mechanic who then plugs it to a computer and all things that are wrong then appears! It’s diagnosed. Now we can go fix it.
You have to diagnose what’s holding you back. If you’ve followed me for any length of time you’d know that I spend a lot of time talking about mindset. Not in a superlative way but a tactical way.
Our elements, beliefs, the rules, self-image or the man/woman in the mirror, which will be another topic for one of these, our Internal Dialogue or ID and the fifth element which is, how you define failure.
Today, we’re spending time in the ID or internal dialogue box. If you’re not conscious or cognizant of your self-talk, it will cost you, depending on how long you’ve been in the business, probably millions of dollars.
I made this statement the other day to somebody who has been in the business 20-25 years. ‘How long do you think you’ve been kind of wired the way you’ve been like the like to, try, should, more, better?’.
He says probably since rookie training. That’s okay because he’s a guy that cares deeply and just to be clear, he’s not failing. This is the only profession I’m aware of where somebody could make a hundred to two hundred grand a year net and still feel like a failure. I know it’s a weird dynamic which is a topic for another time.
I asked him, how much it cost him business-wise in the last 20 years. It was like an epiphany for him. Then he saw the problem. Some of you will definitely understand this.
What’s the first goal when you get into this business? Survival. Making it thru the crucible. Depending on how old you are, it could look one way or the other but it’s still the same thing.
It may take you a couple of years to make it thru. Then you get to a place wherein you’d think you can make it now. You’ve somewhat validated you’re existence.
If you relax when you get to a certain level of income or success, then you’re entering a very dangerous place. The comfort zone. When you’re in the comfort zone, everything becomes a ‘should’, ‘better’ or ‘more’.
When I talk to my clients who are ‘chargers’, meaning they go out there and make 20-25% a year and building empires, their language is, ‘I have to get this done’ or I must have this happen or I must figure this out. There’s is no ambiguity in their language.
They understand that they have to stay uncomfortable. It’s fine if your goal in life is to live a comfortable one. I’m not knocking that. But then be at peace with it. Don’t go, ‘I want a peaceful life but I want to double, triple my business’. It will never happen. It just won’t.
Every successful person understands the rule of being uncomfortable. This is the terminology that I’ve been using for myself in my 25-year career. I’ll 55 this year and made a declaration to my clients back in February that I’ll be here for another 25 years and that’s if God’s willing.
The visual I used was, I was climbing a mountain. What most people think is that, if you’ll be in the business for 50 years now you’re in the halfway point.
You’re now on the peak and going down the backside of your career. I tell them, I’m only halfway up the mountain. My best day or the day that I’ll be ‘looking over the peak and everything’ is the last day that I will coach.
When I say that this is it. This will be my last day as a coach. That means it will be my last day as a coach. I need all of you to adopt that same psychology.
I don’t care if you’re 25 or 75 years old. You have 100% of your career left. Your best day as an advisor, being who you are in this, is your last day.
Your age has nothing to do if I will work with you or what not. All I care about is your mindset and what you want to accomplish. I’ve got to be excited for you because if I’m not, it’s going to be boring. And who wants that?
Your best day is your last day. Take that and watch your internal dialogue and you can have great things happen for yourself.
Don’t forget! If you like this, I’ll give you lots more. Come and check it out. MagellanNetwork.net. Give me 30 days to transform what you’re doing and who you are. Thanks for listening. thanks for watching. I’ll see you again on the next episode of our Magellan Network Show.